


A Soldier's Strife

by iridiumring92



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5119508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridiumring92/pseuds/iridiumring92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His eyes, those almost beautiful eyes. Irises the color of the ocean seemed to glow and sparkle with the shine that only Mako could give them. Cloud had sometimes wondered if his own eyes were that color, or if Sephiroth's were the only ones like them. They could draw you in and make you think things were all right.<br/>Or they could make you forget the conversation you were having with him.<br/>(More chapters to come.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steps

Cloud had always looked up to the Hero of the War in Wutai.

But after the months he'd spent in SOLDIER, after enduring the training and the briefing and the _waiting_ , always waiting, just for their chance to prove themselves as 1st Class material, things that he had once revered now just made him nervous.

Especially _him._

Still, he never went back home to Nibelheim. He knew what Tifa would say. "You've changed, Cloud," she'd say, looking at him. "Haven't you?"

And he'd answer, "I'm still the same person."

Tifa would give him a look. "But you're different," she would say, "somehow."

He was caught between wanting to leave SOLDIER and wanting to stay as far away from his hometown as possible.

The issues in Nibelheim were fairly simple, that was true. But in SOLDIER, with Shinra watching their every move, things weren't so straightforward. People were disappearing without a trace, with no rhyme or reason, and some of their missions were so convoluted that Cloud found himself questioning his own purpose in the organization.

And then there was _him._ Sephiroth.

Sephiroth seemed to be watching Cloud's every step. Whenever he looked up, there was Sephiroth, seeming to pretend he was on duty and watching all of the 2nd Classes. But then Sephiroth's eyes would meet his, and Cloud would know that Sephiroth was there to watch him and him alone.

A part of him wondered if this was it, if he was doing well enough to be promoted to 1st Class, just like Sephiroth. But another part of him was just plain unnerved by the man's presence.

Sometimes he'd resolved to talk to someone of authority. Day after day he had walked toward the elevator, on the way to the director's floor, only to be intercepted by someone else of his class. He had never gotten far. One day he'd actually made it to the door of the director's office, but had turned away at the last second.

Somewhere, some time, he had decided in the back of his mind that he wasn't actually going to talk to anyone. What if Sephiroth actually _was_ planning on promoting him to 1 st Class? He wasn't in any position to screw that up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... So, fun fact... I actually started writing this two years ago. But I never really had the courage to post it anywhere. I guess I don't care anymore... XD  
> But anyway, just FYI, all the chapters are extremely short. I am aware of that and I plan on writing a lot of them to make up for it.  
> So yeah. Feel free to let me know how I'm doing. XD


	2. Eyes

He had been waiting subconsciously for this meeting for months.

"Strife," a voice said. It was deep and cut through the air like the blade of a sword.

Cloud turned around to face Sephiroth, SOLDIER 1st Class, the Black-Caped Man, the Hero of the War in Wutai, who hadn't spoken a word to him for weeks on end.

"Yes, sir?" Cloud answered.

"I need to see you." Sephiroth pursed his lips. "That is, I need to speak with you. Alone."

"Yes, sir," Cloud repeated, and let Sephiroth lead him away.

They were on the management's floor in a few minutes. Sephiroth opened the door to one of the small offices and gestured for Cloud to sit down.

Cloud desperately wanted to ask why he was here, but he didn't dare. Sephiroth was his superior, after all, stalker or not.

"Do you know why I have brought you here?" Sephiroth asked.

"No, sir," Cloud said.

"You can drop the formalities," Sephiroth answered. "Just call me Sephiroth, all right?"

Cloud was silent. He wasn't sure how to respond to that.

He eased himself down into the chair at his desk. "May I call you Cloud?" he asked with a slight smile.

"I . . . I guess so," Cloud found himself saying.

"Well then, Cloud," Sephiroth continued. "I want to take you on a mission with me. You and a few other 2nd Classes. We'll be traveling to Gongaga."

"Gongaga?" Cloud burst out. He clamped his mouth shut when he saw Sephiroth's eyes on him.

His eyes, those almost beautiful eyes. Irises the color of the ocean seemed to glow and sparkle with the shine that only Mako could give them. Cloud had sometimes wondered if his own eyes were that color, or if Sephiroth's were the only ones like them. They could draw you in and make you think things were all right.

Or they could make you forget the conversation you were having with him.

"Yes," Sephiroth said. "Gongaga."

Cloud swallowed. Losing his thoughts to the eyes of a SOLDIER 1st Class wasn't exactly how he'd planned on getting through this meeting.

"Are you up to the task, _Cloud_?" Sephiroth asked him.

Cloud found it hard to believe he was sitting right in front of the greatest SOLDIER ever to have lived, answering to him, and possibly accompanying him on a mission. He wanted to shout that _yes_ , he was up to the task, and he would do the task better than anyone ever had before him, but Sephiroth's eyes were conveying a different message than his lips.

Sephiroth's lips said, "Are you up to the task?"

His eyes said, "You're not ready and you wouldn't dare. But I know you will, because you answer to me."

Instead, Cloud stammered, "Y-yes, sir."

"I told you," Sephiroth repeated with a small smirk, "you can call me Sephiroth."

"I'd rather just call you 'sir,'" Cloud decided aloud.


	3. Mission

Their mission to Gongaga was in a small group—there were only three 2nd Class soldiers and Sephiroth. The mission briefing was simple—Gongaga was a small town with hardly any business, which was why there couldn't be more than a few of them there at once. Too many SOLDIERs, no matter what class they were, would cause commotion.

Sephiroth told them all this on the train to the small foothill town. Cloud sat in silence and watched the other two 2nd Classes nod in response, taking in every drop of information. He noticed that Sephiroth wasn't telling them what they were _really_ doing there, and Sephiroth seemed to know that Cloud was on to him. He kept glancing over that the young SOLDIER, allowing their eyes to meet for a half-second and a smirk to cross his own face, before moving on to another round of information.

Cloud had never met the other two SOLDIERs in his life, but they seemed to know each other like the back of their own hands. Sephiroth sat down in the seat across from Cloud, and the two SOLDIERs, looking a little nervous and giddy, ran off to go somewhere. Probably the restroom.

"Are you going to tell me what we're really doing in Gongaga?" Cloud asked. He wondered thereafter if someone else had spoken for him, since the question could have been easily deemed insubordination.

But Sephiroth just smiled. "Yes. We are to be standing guard. There is a potential for conflict, I hear."

Cloud bit his lip. He wanted to call Sephiroth out, to claim that he was lying, but that, he knew, was never a good idea.

"I want you to know, Cloud," Sephiroth continued, "that I have my eye on you. You seem to be on track to make 1st."

"1st?" Cloud asked, bewildered. "1st Class?"

"Yes," Sephiroth answered. He sat forward in his seat. His body bordered on too close to Cloud's. "And I want you to operate under me."

"Wh-why is that?" Cloud stammered.

"I told you," Sephiroth said. "You're on track to making 1st."

Cloud stood up suddenly. He very nearly hit Sephiroth in the forehead in doing so, and the silver-haired man leaned back in his seat in response, looking displeased.

"I don't trust you," he burst out.

"Oh? Why not?" Sephiroth asked. His expression looked too sincere.

The door opened and the other two SOLDIERs returned to the train car. Cloud glanced at them, and they both cast him strange looks. "I—I have to go." He turned and rushed out the door.

"Don't go too far," Sephiroth told him in an almost patronizing voice as Cloud blew past the other two SOLDIERs and left the car.


	4. Calm

The town of Gongaga was too quiet. Cloud wondered off and on if Sephiroth really had been lying about standing guard here. Such a tiny, lifeless town should never have needed guarding.

Sephiroth led them through the town, striking up conversations with no one. He was silent the whole way, though there was an air of something like confidence surrounding him as he walked. He only stopped when they reached the town's inn.

"Hello, how can I help y—" The receptionist at the front desk looked up midsentence, and her mouth dropped open. "Oh! Shinra— _the great Sephiroth_ —I've been waiting to meet—I mean, I have a reservation under your name," she stammered.

"Yes." Sephiroth nodded. It was almost laughable, the contrast between the demeanors of the woman at the desk and at the SOLDIER 1st Class.

"You can take rooms 203 and 204," the woman said, shakily handing him the keys. When her fingers brushed his, she snatched her hand back and clutched it to her chest.

Sephiroth seemed not to notice any of this. He thanked the woman and turned around without another word, leading the other SOLDIERs away from the counter and up the back stairs.

"We'd best split up," Sephiroth said once they were on the upper level of the inn. He unlocked the door to room 203, and tossed the key to room 204 to one of the younger 2nd Classes, who caught it and glanced up expectantly at their superior.

"It'd be best if Cloud and I shared this room, and you two took the other," Sephiroth said flippantly. The other two boys' eyebrows shot up, and Cloud glanced at Sephiroth, waiting for him to take it back, to say he was joking. There was no way he could share a room with his superior, the greatest SOLDIER to have ever lived. . . .

But Sephiroth turned and gestured with his hand to indicate that they should go. "It'll be dusk not too long from now. You three should probably rest up."

He handed the key to Cloud on his way down the hall.

"What the hell?" one of the other 2nd Classes said. "What is his deal?"

"I dunno, but we better get going. We don't want him on our case tomorrow," the other one said. He shoved the key into the lock and headed inside.

Neither of them said anything to Cloud. They were gone in half a second.

Cloud pulled the door shut and re-locked it. By then he'd already made a decision. He pocketed the key and started down the hall after Sephiroth.

He found the silver-haired man standing at the end of the hallway, staring out the window.

Sephiroth didn't even look at Cloud.

He merely said, "I knew you'd come."


	5. Words

"What?"

That was the only word that escaped Cloud's mouth. It seemed to be a common occurrence around his silver-haired superior.

"Cloud, you don't realize it, do you?" Sephiroth asked, turning slightly so that all but his lips were masked by his hair.

His pale, thin lips moving in perfect shapes of words. The shape of his name. _Cloud,_ he said. He could see where the SOLDIER's tongue flicked over his lips, on the _L_ , and when his mouth puckered into an _O._

"Realize what?" Cloud challenged.

"Hmmm." Sephiroth stared out the window, his lips curving up into what was almost a smile. His tongue skimmed his lower lip for a second. Then he finally swept his hair away from his face and turned to Cloud, so that the young SOLDIER could see him.

"You must trust me." His tone was almost patronizing and almost rational at the same time. "Don't you see, Cloud?"

"No." Cloud pressed his lips into a straight line. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Trust." The word was like smoke floating through the air. "Trust, Cloud."

"I can't." The words fell out of Cloud's mouth, and he wished he could take them back as soon as they left his lips.

Sephiroth's eyes burned into his. "If you do not trust me, we will get nowhere."

"All you've done is follow me," Cloud spat. "And watch me. I don't know where you get off thinking I should trust you."

Sephiroth smiled. "Ah, so you're speaking to me for real now. That's much better." He stepped forward and reached out for Cloud, angling his chin up with a gloved finger. "I did tell you I was watching you to make sure you were cut out for this job."

Cloud didn't speak. He couldn't. He was frozen, confused by the sudden touch of Sephiroth's fingers against his jaw. Finally he managed to tear his eyes from his superior's and take a step back.

"You're insane," he whispered through clenched teeth.

"Ah," Sephiroth answered, "but you don't understand. You might, if you trusted me."

_You're not worthy of my trust._ Those were the words Cloud wanted to say, but for some reason, he couldn't say them. Instead he turned and started to walk away.

Sephiroth caught him by the shoulder. "Cloud," he said quietly, "even if you don't understand now, you will soon."

"Shut up," Cloud muttered, shaking Sephiroth's hand off his arm, and stalked off down the hallway.

Sephiroth turned back to the window, a smile creeping across his lips. He muttered something along the lines of "Foolish creature" and swept his hair over his shoulder again.


	6. Darkness

Sephiroth didn't sleep.

But then, Cloud hadn't expected him to.

Still, the fact that Sephiroth was awake and moving around the room all while Cloud attempted rest bothered him. He thought he would wake to find the man standing over him, staring down at him with a strange expression on his face, or perhaps with his gloved hands around his throat.

He couldn't sleep either. He was considering getting up and going for a walk, even though he knew it must have been close to one in the morning, but Sephiroth beat him to it. He heard the door slam shut, and his eyes snapped open. Sitting up and looking around the room, he saw that the SOLDIER 1st Class was gone.

Cloud wanted to go to sleep then, but instead he found himself striding across the room and pushing the curtains on the window aside just the slightest bit. A few seconds later, he saw the tall, dark form of Sephiroth emerging from the entrance of the inn. Some foreign compulsion surfaced in Cloud, and he found himself throwing the curtains shut, running across their room, and retrieving his boots from where they sat next to the door. He shoved them on his feet, grabbing the room key from where it hung on the door handle. Next thing he knew he was jerking the door open, racing out into the hallway, stumbling down the stairs, rushing through the inn's lobby. There was no one around.

He pushed open the inn's heavy wooden door with a squeak, and then he stepped out into the night. Sephiroth was ahead of him, his silver hair blowing sideways in the wind as he disappeared around a corner. Cloud's boots hit the ground heavily as he ran to catch up. He wished they didn't make so much noise.

Cloud rounded the same corner, stepping across the path between a restaurant and a house. At first there was no sign of Sephiroth, and his heart stopped as he wondered where the 1st Class had gone. But then he saw the man walking indifferently into the darkness ahead, vanishing into an orchard of trees and blending in with the gloom around him.

Cloud followed Sephiroth, pushing his way through the undergrowth. After a few seconds of floundering his way through the mess, he emerged on the other side. His jaw dropped when he saw what was ahead of them.

The scene that lay ahead looked like the site of detonation of a nuclear bomb. There was a path leading up to the destroyed remains of a reactor, the landscape gray and desolate. Cloud couldn't bring himself to take a step, to move, to even close his eyes.

Not even when Sephiroth turned around.

And looked him in the eye.


	7. Reaction

"Cloud."

Sephiroth had caught him. Cloud looked him in his Mako-infused eyes, his gaze trapped by Sephiroth's for a long moment. Time had completely stopped around them. They stood staring at each other, Sephiroth waiting for Cloud to run, Cloud waiting for Sephiroth to give chase. But neither one of them moved.

Then came a shout from somewhere beyond, near the destroyed reactor. The shout of a soldier, allegiance unknown: "Find the damn Materia!" it said.

"Go around!" another voice answered. And then, "Wait. . . . What's that?"

Sephiroth advanced on Cloud before he could turn his attention from the soldiers' conversation. "Cloud, get down," he said, and pulled the younger SOLDIER into the brush beside the path.

Cloud struggled to get away, but Sephiroth held him, his grip tight around his shoulder and the small of his back. Cloud's other shoulder jutted into Sephiroth's chest, and he could feel the brush of his silver hair. He could feel the steady rise and fall of Sephiroth's breathing. Hell, he could hear the man's _heartbeat._

Then there was the sound of footsteps beating on the dirt path. Cloud twisted in Sephiroth's grip, as much as he could, to see the other soldiers racing by, their legs flashing back and forth in sprints. Their uniforms were dark, but they were not SOLDIER caliber. Likely just some bounty hunters looking to steal Materia, bounty hunters who did not know their place.

"I should handle them." Sephiroth at last let go of Cloud and stood up. Cloud stayed where he was, hidden in the grass in a crouch. He felt at once the relief that his superior had moved away and the withdrawal caused by the sudden disappearance of his body heat. "Cloud, you need to go back to the inn."

"Wait," Cloud began. "What are you doing out here?"

Sephiroth pursed his pale lips. "I am on watch. That was part of our mission, was it not, Cloud?"

"So late at night?" Cloud murmured, but he wasn't sure if the silver-haired man had heard him.

"Though I am pleased you wished to accompany me on patrol," Sephiroth continued. Even as he spoke the words, his mouth was still set into a straight line, his eyes narrowed. "I still need you to return to the inn now. This isn't something you should see." He stared down the path, where the soldier-bounty-hunters had disappeared.

_I still need you._

Cloud clenched his hands into fists. So many words came to him and fizzled out on his tongue at that moment. Finally he rose to his feet and looked up at Sephiroth.

"Yes, sir," he said through his teeth.

"Good," Sephiroth told him. "Good, Cloud. You are learning."

Cloud turned sharply away and strode off down the dirt path, making his way back to Gongaga.


	8. Return

Cloud went back to the inn but barely slept. At dawn he heard the door to the room open and the sound of footsteps. When he sat up, he saw Sephiroth walk in and face him.

"Cloud, I am calling the three of you 2nd Classes together so that we can discuss the mission." His voice was colder than ever, leading Cloud to wonder if something else had happened last night after he left.

"Right," Cloud murmured. Sephiroth had already turned around and made his way to the entry of the room, and the sound of the door slamming told him he had to hurry.

Out in the hall, Sephiroth stood next to the two other 2nd Classes, who were whispering to each other. Sephiroth leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, looking at the window at the end of the hallway. But when Cloud emerged from their room, the 1st Class pushed off the wall and looked him straight in the eye.

"I believe our mission here is over." Sephiroth sounded dead serious. "I have received the orders to withdraw. I may have caused too much commotion last night."

The two 2nd Classes stopped whispering, their stares flickering suspiciously between Cloud and Sephiroth.

"What happened?" one of them asked.

"There was a gang of bounty hunters at the Reactor," Sephiroth explained. "I had to take them down. It caused . . . some noise." His mouth betrayed him at the end of the sentence; its corners curved up into what could have been a smirk.

"I thought you said we were supposed to keep quiet," the other 2nd Class pointed out.

"That was originally the plan," Sephiroth answered. "But even the most meticulous plans can unravel."

The three other SOLDIERs just blinked back at him. Finally the silver-haired man turned around, beginning his walk down the hallway. He tossed the room key over his shoulder at Cloud just before he left.

"I'll meet you three at the edge of town. Make sure you stay hidden."

He rounded the corner and disappeared, and they heard him descending the stairs.

Then the two 2nd Classes turned on Cloud. "What the hell happened?" one of them demanded. "I thought Sephiroth was with you."

Cloud bit his lip. "He . . . he was. I mean . . . he left the inn somewhere around one in the morning."

"What was he doing before then?" the other guy asked. "Sleeping?"

Cloud shook his head. "No. He was just standing by the window."

"So where did he go?" one of them asked. It was getting harder and harder to tell them apart, Cloud noticed.

"He went to the reactor."

"And you know this how?"

"I . . . I followed him." Cloud's gaze was trained on the floor. "He sent me back."

"From now on, we're keeping a close eye on this guy!" one of the other 2nd Classes decided aloud.

"Yeah, whatever you say, man. Come on, do you want Mr. Wutai to kick our asses?" his twin asked, and they ran ahead of Cloud, barreling down the hallway toward the stairs.

" _Mr. Wutai_?" he muttered to himself.


	9. Shinra

The four of them took the train back to Shinra Headquarters. The only conversation that took place was between the two younger 2nd Classes; Sephiroth didn't speak, and therefore, neither did Cloud. The first person to speak was Tseng, who met them at the door.

"Sephiroth," the dark-haired Turk said. "About your mission."

"Yes?" Sephiroth asked. There was no inflection in his voice. He stared back at Tseng, his gaze level, his jaw clenched.

"I need to discuss the outcome with you," Tseng said, mirroring Sephiroth's expression. "Come with me."

Sephiroth stood his ground. Cloud watched one of the man's gloved hands clench into a fist, at first his only show of dissent. Finally he said, "I need to take these 2nd Classes back first."

Tseng shook his head. "No, you don't," he said. "They can find their way back on their own."

Sephiroth looked over his shoulder for a second, and his eyes found Cloud's.

He said, "All right."

Tseng led Sephiroth into the Shinra Building, and the three 2nd Class SOLDIERs stood outside, watching them disappear. Within seconds of the building's door closing behind the two higher-ups, the other 2nd Classes ran off, leaving Cloud behind.

Cloud remembered the resolve he'd had when Sephiroth had first noticed him—the resolve to tell someone, to get it off his chest. He remembered Sephiroth's voice, low, murmuring, _Cloud, get down,_ and he remembered the 1 st Class's arms around him as the bounty hunters ran by. He remembered the glance Sephiroth had shot him over his shoulder.

He walked through the front doors of the Shinra Building just as Tseng and Sephiroth disappeared into the elevator.

He crossed the entryway, ignoring the glances shot in his direction, and stepped up to the elevator, pressing the button not for the SOLDIER floor, but for the Turks' floor. No one else got on after him, and no one questioned him; the doors shut, and the elevator spirited Cloud off into the Shinra Building, where he had resolved again to chase after Sephiroth.


End file.
